When An Autist Can’t Cry

I remember the day that I stopped crying. It was when I was bullied as a very young child, my first year in school. The bullies were waiting for my reaction, and I realized that if I didn’t give them that, they had less interest in me. Thus started a lifetime of tuning out of my emotions, sometimes being unaware of what my emotions are, and other times feeling like they are out of control, but showing in ways that other people cannot identify what they are.