Is Autism a Disability?

There is a big discussion in the autism community right now about how to deal with parents of autistic kids who see their children as disabled and expect sympathy for how hard it is to have an autistic child while they seem unable to listen to autistic adults explain why ABA therapy can be harmful and that talk of “curing” autism smacks to us as eugenics. This has resulted in a kind of war between these parents of autistic children and the autistic adults such that many #actuallyautistic people are mortal enemies to groups like “Autism Speaks,” which is made up almost entirely in leadership of neurotypical people and parents of autistic kids, while autists are themselves left out of the discussion.

Let me just say that this is a tricky conversation because people on both sides are passionate and are good people. Parents do want to help their children and often struggle with the right terminology or even the right mindset. They want their children to be as functional as possible and they want what is best for them. I know many of these parents and they often thank me for explaining clearly elements of autism from the inside and are eager to see the world differently. There is prejudice, however, and it is fairly widespread. There are also a lot of stereotypes about autism (lack of language, stimming, head-slamming, and lack of empathy) that are deeply harmful even if they are part of a very familiar, old way of…