Does Autism Get Worse Or Better With Age?

I find this is one of the things about autism that seems more often asked of and by women with autism, especially those of us who are diagnosed late in life. Suddenly we are seeing more symptoms of autism as we age. If you are in this category of late-diagnosed women who are having more symptoms or more trouble with symptoms or if you are a close friend or relative to someone like this, let me first say that you are not crazy and that you are not seeking attention. This is a real phenomenon that we are all trying to understand and explain.

Women who have spent their entire lives masking often feel like they have hit a “wall” in their thirties or forties. This is what propels us to seek a formal diagnosis. The things that we used to do as a matter of course to get along in the neurotypical world suddenly feel impossible or very difficult. Every morning can feel like a huge burden, to wake up and have to deal with all of these tasks that do not feel natural and that still do not make any sense to us autists. Part of this is probably just middle age. (Hey, autistic women, this is actually one of the most “normal” things about us). Part of it is exhaustion, though. When you’ve spent your entire life hiding your true self, you reach a point where you simply can’t do that anymore and still want to be alive.