One of the most difficult challenges between autists and allists is communication. I remember a couple of years ago, I was explaining to a long-time friend of mine about my diagnosis, and that I was frequently frustrated by the reality that so much communication is done with body language instead of words.
“We invented words so that we didn’t have to point and grunt,” I said. “Words are far superior. So why don’t people use them.”
He rolled his eyes. “Because body language is more efficient,” he said.
It was an extremely helpful response.
But I still find myself frustrated because I, of course, do not understand body language in the “intuitive” way that everyone else seems to assume. There are no classes (short of joining the FBI’s criminal profiling unit) that explain body language in ways that I find helpful. Yes, of course, I know that autistic children are often taught the basics. What a smile means, what a shrug means, how to tell if someone isn’t interested anymore (they are turned away from you).
Still, I must say that as an adult, these kinds of basics are of little use to me. For one thing, men and women have very different body language. In a group of all women, for instance, women’s body language tends to be more vibrant, even wild. Men tend to be more muted in body language, at least…
