Autism and Asking For Help

When I was diagnosed with autism, one of the tests was being given an incomplete set of puzzle pieces and seeing how long it would take me to ask for the missing pieces to complete the puzzle. The diagnostician admitted that this was generally a test for children and she wasn’t sure how well it applied to adults. In fact, I did not have any problem asking for the other puzzle pieces. But this test has stayed in my head because I think I fail more subtle and metaphorical versions of asking for help again and again and it’s an important thing to talk about to neurotypical people to show what autism is really like.

My tendency not to ask for help is not at all like a neurotypical tendency to not wish to lower my social status by putting myself in a lower social position because I don’t see the world in that way at all. I often do not ask for help simply because it does not occur to me that this is a possibility. That is, I live so much inside of my own head that I sometimes forget that other people exist outside of it, that they might be available to help me. It’s not that I’m unempathetic or a narcissist, but I don’t seek other people out on a regular basis. It’s just not what drives me. I do my own things most of the time, and I assume that is the way other people are, as well.

Let me give a few examples to illustrate. Recently, I moved into a new house. After five months, I had barely…