Using Autism as an “Excuse” Ever since I was diagnosed with autism five years ago, people have objected to my claiming the diagnosis. They get frustrated when I explain that yes, I have been masking as neurotypical for my entire life. They seem to assume that if that has been…

Correcting Reflex in Autism Do you remember that kid who is raising their hand desperately during elementary school and then says, “You mean Thursday” to the teacher. The teacher said Thursday instead of “Tuesday” thirty minutes ago, and has no idea what that kid is talking about, but gets annoyed…

Dear #NotAllMen, Your daughters are watching. And since you seem to care about women mostly in regards to the way in which they reflect on you, I’m telling you that when you say these things in reaction to an accusation of sexual misconduct of a man you know or respect: …

Compliments and Autism Compliments are such a tricky autism problem. I know what I’m supposed to do, say thank you. When I was a kid, I was always being prompted to say thank you to people who gave me compliments. …

Autism and Gifts I struggle so much with gift protocol on both ends, the recipient and the donor. Yes, I was taught basic rules of gift giving as a child, but it always feels like there is some advanced class on gift giving that everyone else went to and I…

Autism and Smiling My photos from childhood school picture days are hilariously bad. I hadn’t yet learned what “smiling” was supposed to look like. I just twisted my face into the widest possible grimace/smile I could manage. My bucked teeth make those smiles look even more ghastly. Autistic friends talk…

Inside Out Autism I put my bra on today inside out, as I usually do, and it occurred to me that this is a perfect metaphor for being autistic. I don’t understand why of all of things, bras would be put on “rightside out,” with the seams to the inside…

When An Autist Can’t Cry I remember the day that I stopped crying. It was when I was bullied as a very young child, my first year in school. The bullies were waiting for my reaction, and I realized that if I didn’t give them that, they had less interest…